Will Rogers filmography

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising a Show more Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it. Hide

No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer h Show more No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has. Hide

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't Show more If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. Hide

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on Earth. Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on Earth.

I never met a man I didn't like. I never met a man I didn't like.

People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument. People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.

When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious. Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education. There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

[on introducing comic banter to his rope-twirling routines] The first gag I ever pulled was when I g Show more [on introducing comic banter to his rope-twirling routines] The first gag I ever pulled was when I got my rope all tangled up and says, 'A rope ain't bad to get tangled up in if it ain't around your neck'. Hide

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth. A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

Most people and actors appearing on the stage have some writer write their material. I don't do that Show more Most people and actors appearing on the stage have some writer write their material. I don't do that. Congress is good enough for me. They have been writing my material for years. Hide

[last words, in a radio broadcast by Rogers before the plane crash in which he and Wiley Post were k Show more [last words, in a radio broadcast by Rogers before the plane crash in which he and Wiley Post were killed] Well, Wiley's got her warmed up. Let's go. Hide

Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

[on looking over the Academy Awards audience, 1934]: This looks like the last roundup of the ermine. [on looking over the Academy Awards audience, 1934]: This looks like the last roundup of the ermine.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

If we ever pass out as a great nation we ought to put on our tombstone, 'America died from a delusio Show more If we ever pass out as a great nation we ought to put on our tombstone, 'America died from a delusion that she has moral leadership.' Hide

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we neve Show more Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do. Hide

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago.

Always drink upstream from the herd. Always drink upstream from the herd.

[on Commitee] Outside of traffic, there is nothing that has held this country back as much as commit Show more [on Commitee] Outside of traffic, there is nothing that has held this country back as much as committees. Hide

Nothing you can't spell will ever work. Nothing you can't spell will ever work.

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a Show more The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer. Hide

I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is; they like to run their own business. I kn Show more I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is; they like to run their own business. I know men that would make my wife a better husband than I am, but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to 'em. Hide

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, a Show more If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. Hide

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion. Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for. It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches. Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it . . . You take di Show more Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it . . . You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week. Hide

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money. I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money.

My father was one eighth Cherokee and my mother one fourth Cherokee, which I figure makes me about a Show more My father was one eighth Cherokee and my mother one fourth Cherokee, which I figure makes me about an eight cigar-store Injun. Hide

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way. You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected. The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every mor Show more The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?" Hide

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

Never miss a good chance to shut up. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can sa Show more And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke! Hide

When you put down the good things you ought to have done and leave out the bad things you did do -- Show more When you put down the good things you ought to have done and leave out the bad things you did do -- that's Memoirs. Hide

My ancestors may not have come over on the Mayflower, but they met 'em at the boat. My ancestors may not have come over on the Mayflower, but they met 'em at the boat.